I've felt so sick today and I hate my life because I've had zero energy to care after the kids or to even tend them really. And all I've wanted was to lay down and spend the day sleeping. I want to die. I wish I had the means because right now I feel so completely useless in this world of mine that I'd rather no longer be in it. I'm not making positive changes in anyone's lives, I'm more like a waste of space. My advocacy dreams keep ending up being just that,...dreams, Dealing with 4 kids and a busy husband, my volunteer efforts come last. And it sucks. I have nothing for me and it hurts in a way. I just want this hurting to stop.